disappointment.

by Liz on 03.25

Hi!

I just wanted to let you know that I am a fan of your blog. Also, I feel just like you about my wedding photos- I think I look fat in them and it really sucks!! I worked out 3-4 times a week and saw a personal trainer for 9mths leading up to the wedding and I still wasn’t happy with the photos. I guess now the problem is I think it has really ruined my day-besides having a great time this makes me think that everyone looks back on their photos and thinks wow, the bride should not have worn a dress like that with her stomach. I wore spanx and they obviously did not help to hide my bloated stomach. I’m just really disappointed and wanted to know if it has gotten better for you? How have you dealt with it in your head? I’m being really bad and eating lots of junk, and keep telling myself that I’ll never be happy with my body so what the hell? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I actually went to a counsellor about it today.


Thanks,
K.
 
 
 
Step. Away. From the photos.

Seriously. Give yourself a good few days….weeks, even. I felt so much better when I looked at the pictures a little later, when the stress and tension of wedding planning that was still sorta built up, all dissipated. And I no longer felt the disappointments and the “I had hoped…”s and instead felt all of the happy moments and special memories. Honest.

Then, go through those millions of photos and pick your favorites. You’ll probably end up with ALOT more than you expect. There’s so so so many photos, it can be overwhelming. You end up glossing over the ones where you look great because you feel so many of them highlight your flaws. (in a sea of thousands of photos, there’s bound to be a ton of stupid faces, weird angles, and plain old unflattering shots- don’t let them overwhelm you. That’s WHY photographers take so many friggin photos).

…And you know what? YOU get to pick which pictures people see- what you put on the blog, Facebook, in the album or on the wall in a frame. Those ones where you think your belly looks blech– don’t hang em.
Beyond that, I think there’s a deeper issue here that you hafta face. A little wedding photo disappointment is probably normal. But if this is really as overwhelming as you say it is, really think about WHY. I really wanted to be pretty on my wedding day because I didn’t want to disappoint Josh. Dumb, right? But I couldn’t really feel better about the way I looked, until I figured out why it was so important to me that I looked awesome.

I feel like there is so much more to say here… anyone else wanna chime in?

(K’s referring to this and this blog post. But another good discussion about photos is found here.)

Previous post:

Next post: