One of the major reasons I haven’t written lately is that my mind is preoccupied by super boring, incredibly unbloggable things. Namely, two things: Business and Food.
The Business stuff, it turns out, actually interests some of you (fancy that!), so I’ll probably get around to chatting about that way too much a little here and there.
But the Food preoccupation is not the fun kind, no sir.
We’ve started trying to eat better, to reverse some of the damage caused by (yes, okay, pregnancy) but mostly by being too poor to eat anything worthwhile.
So, we decided to try Whole30. But not really Whole30. Whole30, minus meat, plus beans.
Which, alright, really isn’t Whole30 at all, but is just sort of Vegan Without Sugar. I think maybe also called Whole Food Vegan.
IE, Folks with No Reason to Live.
The fact is, I’m not completely sold on any of the competing ideas out there right now. I’m not convinced that Paleo is onto something with this all-meat-all-the-time business, and I’m not sure those vegans are right about cutting meat entirely.
But by chopping meat, dairy and sugar (and even most grains), we’re sort of forced to eat LOADS of fruit and veg. So, it’s not really about the stuff we’re cutting out so much as the stuff we’re now stuck eating- all of which is leafy and natural and probably good for us (I’m assuming. Does anyone really know what’s healthy any more?)
BUT.
This weekend, we have loads of social engagements, all of which will involve food of some sort. That’s where I draw the line. Promise I won’t use it as an excuse to go buck wild and dump entire cartons of ice cream in my mouth in the middle of a wedding. But, I’d rather the way I eat not interrupt the way I interact with friends.
That’s a slippery slope, to be sure, especially considering that for me, food is an event. Usually my idea of meeting up to hang out with a friend implies something delicious and decadent. Even, “Let’s grab coffee,” really actually means, “Let’s go get expensive sugary lattes with whipped cream on top and a pastry on the side!” And yeah, okay, I guess I could just order a black coffee and call it a day, but aren’t you sort of missing the point, wise ass?
The point being, trying to think up other things to do with people is just hard. “Hey, let’s go for a drink!” turns into, “Hey, let’s go for a walk!” and our conversations are no longer light and inebriated and hilarious, but instead gasped out in wheezing puffs with neither of us being able to really face one another.
Any of you guys trying something new with your diet? Do you find it impacts the way you socialize?
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Sep 21, 2012 2:08 am
Oh yes , I think about this a lot… I actually have to write about it, but can’t even come up with a title for the post. We have been trying to eat healthier, but we can not really call ourselves vegan, though maybe vegetarians that sometimes (very seldom) eat meat.
The thing is, we do not buy meat (or chicken or fish) with our groceries, but every now and then when we go out for dinner and feel like it, we do eat meat products. But we do eat milk and eggs… and even if vegetarians eat those, to me it is more or less the same as eating meat, since the chicken and cows are still in farms, and well the calf is taken away from its cow mom as soon as its born… so it is supporting the same system. What we do is try and get the organic / biological stuff as much as possible, but that stuff is super expensive. At least for eggs is doable, and I know that in Europe the regulations for animal welfare really want to make a difference.
On the other hand a lot of the products aimed at vegans are made of processed soy, and I am maybe even more against soy…. since it is mostly transgenic, it is in large part being cultivated in South America, by taking out the Amazons and promoting erosion, with the loss of biodiversity and social implications (destruction of communities) as consequences. On top of that the phytoestrogens in soy seem to have adverse health consequences… like promoting inflammatory conditions.
So we end up like you eating lots of vegetable and fruit, sometimes with pasta, and with rice, then some dairy products (cheese, milk, butter), and organic eggs.
On the social side…. if someone invites us over and they already cooked a meat dish, of course we will eat it, since to me wasting food is even worse. It irritates me when strict vegetarians that do not announce it previously so that the host can accomodate them… refuse to eat, after all the work that has been put into it.
And well I do not agree with the whole eating animals is violent thing, since even protozoa as amoeba feed on bacteria for a living… I see it as an exchange of energy, but , I strongly believe if we are going to raise animals, it has to be done in such a way that the animals do not suffer, neither during their lives, nor during slaughter, and there are efforts been done in that direction. Also if you are going to defend the “I do not eat stuff that it is alive because it is violent” then you should not eat plants either, since they are also alive and capable of feeling…. where do you draw the line? We need to eat….
Anyhow…. long rambling, to say, I think about this stuff a lot too, in terms of the environment, and of our health…
Sep 21, 2012 3:51 am
It is the social side of dieting that I just can’t do. Finding alternatives for “come round for dinner” or “lets go to the pub” are tough and my social life revolves around food. I got a lot healthier at the start of the summer but found it was because I was saying no to seeing friends – thats not much fun!! It’s all about balance I guess but I haven’t found that yet!!
xox
Sep 21, 2012 5:51 am
Five years ago I got diagnosed with Coeliac disease, and had to go gluten-free. I’ve had more than my share of social engagements at which there is nothing I can eat, or there’s one bowl of peanuts I can munch on, or we go somewhere for dinner and there’s nothing on the menu that is GF except for hot chips. I once organised a pub dinner for a group, got there and they had nothing GF on the menu, and then wouldn’t serve me anything at all in case I got sick. SO I know alllll about the awkwardness of food and socialising, and how intertwined those two are.
Thing is though, you just have to persevere. Instead of going to a friend’s house where they cook food you don’t want to (or can’t) eat, you invite them to your house, so you serve what you want to eat. Healthy food does NOT have to be gross or boring! Buy a new cook book and start exploring.
It has been so awesome for me to have my friends one-by-one step up and learn how to make something GF when they host parties etc. Give your friends some credit – maybe they have also been meaning to eat healthier and you guys can investigate it together. Make it an adventure, get excited about it, and get your friends involved. Ring ‘em up and say hey I’m going to check out this farmers market, wanna come? Or have them around to help your make your first ever, wonky as hell but totally delicious sushi.
Sorry, rant over, I get a little passionate about healthy food hahah :P
Sep 21, 2012 8:22 am
Food and coffee are the easiest thing to base social dates around, for me at least. One way to get around getting pulled into the danger zone there for me has been inviting friends over for a coffee or tea at home – there’s all the comfort of getting to sit in comfy chairs or couches, if I want to be fancy I can bake some relatively healthy treats and there’s no other real necessity.
Depending on the friend there are always other activities to do: both of us crafting in the living room, taking a class or going to the library, but it’s hard to break the “let’s grab coffee and catch up” habit.
Sep 21, 2012 8:58 am
For me it’s been a matter of breaking some habits I didn’t even fully realize I had. Or that were so important to me.
I’ve tried to stop eating after 9, and absolutely not after 10. I still have soda with lime juice or bitters around 10:30 or 11, like an ex-smoker switching to lollipops and pretending it’s the same, ha. And beyond that, I’ve been trying not to idly consume things because they’re around. Stale sugar cookies in the breakroom at work, etc. Buying lunch out because I didn’t plan ahead and pack something healthy. Having a real drink at night if I’d truly like one, but not just because it’s around.
The trouble has been being able to transgress carefully and return easily back to the good habits the next day. When my friends have a taco party, I need to learn to eat one damn (fully loaded) taco. But I’m definitely not going to stand around and insist I’m just not that hungry because tacos aren’t on my diet.
The first week was really hard (about four weeks ago). I have managed to lose 12 pounds from my inflated post-vacation weight in early August. Seeing progress does encourage me to soldier on.
Sep 21, 2012 9:04 am
WHOAAAA, Evie that’s awesome!
Sep 21, 2012 10:22 am
Hi Liz!
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now, and I absolutely love it. You’re witty and funny, and so much of your writing is thought provoking and interesting. I’ve never commented before, but this topic really resonated with me, so I thought I’d offer my opinion….(and I haven’t read the other comments yet, so my apologies if anyone has already mentioned this…)
Have you looked into Weight Watchers at all? I don’t work for them or anything, and I’m not necessarily trying to promote them, but I have tried several other diets before, and this is the only one that has worked for me. My biggest problem is what you have described — just how much food is a part of my social life. WW actually promotes occasional indulgences, and the program really taught me about moderation. I found I could still have most of the food I wanted (every now and then), but the program really helped me re-evaluate my relationship with food, and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I’ve lost about 30 pounds since January, and the program really changed my sister-in-law’s life (she lost 80 pounds and has kept it off for more than a year!) Of course, it does cost to use the program (obviously weight-loss programs are a luxury), and fresh fruits and veggies aren’t the cheapest things at the grocery store, so I know it can be tough when you’re counting every penny. Just thought I’d throw it out there. :)
Love your blog!
Sep 21, 2012 11:15 am
Thanks so much for your very kind words, Erin! I haven’t looked into WW, but I’ve heard quite a few people mention how well it works for them.
Sep 21, 2012 11:22 am
Just a second thumbs up for WW. I had a wonderful leader and the program did absolute wonders for my relationship with food. Strategies + thoughtfulness were such a lifesaver.
Sep 21, 2012 11:21 am
The social side is damn, effing hard. I have found that most of the time, when I mention to friends that I wouldn’t mind trying something different when we hang out they respond positively. Sometimes I sell it as exercise, sometimes I sell it as saving money. Either way, everyone knows that there will always be happy hour to go back to.
Some ideas:
Canoeing + picnic
Walking but through a park or public garden or something actually pretty and stimulating to look at
Yoga or other exercise class followed by coffee
Inviting friends over for dinner
Thrift shopping or strolling through the farmers market
Bike adventures
Bottom line: I try to look for activities where the food is a fun add-on, not the main event.
Sep 21, 2012 2:19 pm
I love cooking and we have a good apartment for hosting, so we end up having people over to our place a lot. This is great for being able to control what foods are available (and spending $$$) but doesn’t help with willpower for inevitable nights out.
What gets awkward for me is when friends become TOO aware of your diet. Comments like, “Wait, I thought you didn’t eat ___!” and “Oh well we can’t go to such-and-such place I guess,” make me quite uncomfortable. I totally break my generally-healthy-habits for fun social events! I don’t need people to make plans around me, or make comments about when and what I consume. Eeek.
(Disclaimer: only a few people I’m close to actually do this, so it’s not a huge problem – just one aspect of the socializing/eating dynamic).
Sep 21, 2012 4:30 pm
I actually didn’t have much of a problem with the social aspect when I was doing Whole 30. Granted I made some exceptions on occasion (I still drank red wine and tequila with lime juice sometimes, in moderation) but most of the time I could find something to eat anywhere I needed to go. I think the hardest thing is that you don’t eat meat so your options in general are already super limited :( Most places have some kind of grilled meat and veggies on the menu, or you can easily request it without sauce, not fried, etc.
One thing I learned is that there is this shame or embarrassment over having certain food preferences – like you’re automatically a high maintenance crazy person or someone *gasp* on a diet. And I had to get over that. This is what I eat. I have to ask for it prepared a little differently or something, or speak up when we’re picking which restaurant to go to, but that’s just what I need to do to eat healthy. When you start doing it, it gets easier and you start to lose that shame surrounding your food choices. There is NO REASON to feel weird or bad about having a say in where you go to eat or what you order.
Plus, after a few weeks of black coffee and no sugar, coffee with a splash of whole milk or cream is AMAZING. No sugary syrup or whip cream needed, seriously :)
Sep 21, 2012 9:40 pm
Ugh. Eating SO TOTALLY has a social side. Although, I feel like if more people ate the vegetables they are *supposed* to eat, it wouldn’t be an issue.
When I became a vegetarian (about a year ago) everyone was really, really great about it. I swore that I wouldn’t be THAT girl – the one who makes a stink about my eating choices in social situations because, let’s face it, there is ALWAYS something to eat, even if it’s just rolls. They’re my eating choices, not yours. I’m not trying to convert anyone. But family and friends (save my dad) were surprisingly great about it and everyone kind of adapted, insisting that they really should be eating that way anyway. It was really wonderful.
However. Now I’m tending to believe I’m lactose intolerant (I will spare you the details), which means I’m going to be a dairy-free vegetarian (if we’re going to put a label on it). A friend of mine joked, “So, you’re going to be vegan, then?” And it’s pretty much true, I discovered. I love eggs but rarely eat them (I go back and forth about how much they freak me out). But it’s SO MUCH HARDER to be vegan when nobody around you is.
And don’t get me started on the social stigma of “eating healthy.” Why does it have to be a bad thing? WHY?
Anywho. Good luck! It’s easier than you think when you cook a lot. I’ve had a lot of success with Veganomicon (book), Oh She Glows (blog), Post Punk Kitchen (blog), and Daily Garnish (blog).
Sep 23, 2012 1:54 pm
I just made it though my first wedding without cake. I think I’ve probably got gestational diabetes so I’m with you in the lame, boring, does life still have meaning camp.
Sep 23, 2012 3:15 pm
I’ve got strict dietary restrictions for religious reasons (no pork, no shellfish, no meat and dairy together) and I also am pretty strict about healthy eating (which obviously, there are a million perspectives one, but I’m strict about mine, although less strict than the dietary restrictions.)
I don’t find it impacts the social situation too much however. I don’t have the money to go out for coffee anyways, so it never became a habit. Instead, I invite people over for tea. Close friends, I just say “lets hang out” and we sit around one of our houses chatting. (Usually I’ll make us some food too, but healthy food.) My best friend, I’ll sometimes say, let’s go run errands together or do chores together and catch up even though we’re so busy.
We have people over for dinner more than we go out. I’m very clear with people when they invite us over for food, what I will and will not eat, religiously I flex on the healthy parts when going out to eat dinner at a friends house, but its not the main way we hang with friends, so it is only 1-2 times a month usually.
I also shape food needs around knowing what my friends eat. A friend who remembers my religious dietary needs and has similar health food opinions? I’m happy to eat whatever she makes. Friends who often forget my religious dietary needs and cook horribly unhealthy food? We don’t really do dinner, unless it’s at my house, and even then, its usually tea or breakfast at my place.
Healthfood wise, I do the best I can when invited to people’s houses for dinner. I eat the parts of the meal that are ok compromises for me, and don’t the others. For instance, if they only serve margerine with bread, I’ll eat it dry, but if I know there is canola oil in the veggies, oh well, it’s not all of my diet.
I also don’t host potluck parties anymore, even though I love them. I will ask the people whose food I trust to bring something, and the people’s whose food scares me, or who are not respectful of my request to not bring pork and shellfish into my house, I ask to bring drinks. When I go to a potluck, I bring a dish that I would be happy eating only that dish, something more substantial than chips and salsa. If it turns out there are things that look healthy and are labeled as something I can eat, I will, but otherwise, I assume I can eat what I bring, and maybe someone’s chips and salsa, or pita and hummus.
I think the key is keeping social dining situations at homes, not restaurants, and whether it is at your house or someone elses, you cook something you CAN eat.
You get used to it. I’ve had religious dietary restrictions for over a decade, and I don’t really think about it much anymore, in terms of it conflicting with my life. It just is, and I work around it.
Health food wise, I follow the 80-20 rule. If 80 percent of your diet is healthy, the other 20 percent won’t do too much damage.
Sep 24, 2012 3:22 pm
Hi Liz! As a (nearly) lifelong veghead, I wanted to chime in. It is definitely a transition when changing your diet, however, after awhile it becomes second nature. people are pretty adaptable and accomodating in my experience. In the last few years, I’ve cut cheese out of my diet for the most part. (I stopped drinking milk in college.) I don’t find eating out a problem at all. Even if I go to a restaurant where there aren’t many veg options, you’d be surprised what the chef can do for you if you politely ask. I went to a very nice steakhouse with co-workers while on a business trip and I had one of the best meals of my life and it was totally vegan. They were very accomodating and the chef whipped up a pasta dish with a ton of veggies and a delicious red sauce. It wasn’t on the menu, but they tend to have an assortment of veggies on hand. Another trick is ordering off the side menu. Sometimes if nothing on the main menu looks appealing, I’ll build a meal from the side dishes. Also, ethnic restaurants are really great at offering veg options as well, particularly Greek, Indian, and Asian restaurants. And it doesn’t hurt that there is one fantastic vegetarian restaurant in my area that veg and non-veg peeps alike LOVE.
As previous commenters stated, having people over you have more control over the food options. My friends love a good snacky dinner comprised of pita, hummus, olives, and an assortment of fresh veggies (sliced zucchini and cucumber are stellar and refreshing dipping items). We also enjoy going out at ethnic restaurants or the veg restaurant. sometimes we’ll get together for drinks or we’ll have cocktail hour at someone’s house. and it’s always fun to make a dish and bring it over if someone’s having a dinner party/holidays/potlucks/etc. Or get together with friends to try to bake/cook that intimidating dish (I believe someone else may have mentioned that as well.)
All this to say, that you can definitely still be social around food even if you are changing your diet. and most people will be supportive. and for those rare occasions when food might be a little tricky, I eat beforehand. (for example, i always eat before weddings. I don’t expect anyway to accomodate me, although most are thoughtful enough to do so. Eating beforehand allows me to indulge in some of the more fun side items such as fried veggie ravioli or a bite of cheese and crackers, without eating too much of them. and cake. I do love me some wedding cake.)
Sep 26, 2012 7:20 am
I recently had a conversation about meat that grossed me out . I decided to try to change my diet because the thought of certain meats was repulsive. During this very brief period (9 days lol) I ate healthier, but I kept craving bacon and chicken and stuff until I finally caved in and got a bacon egg & gouda sandwich from Starbucks! In general I struggle with healthy eating because of my need to buy quick, cheap, convenient foods, rather than taking the time to make a home cooked meal. Who feels like cooking after 8 hours in the office anyway?
Sep 26, 2012 5:16 pm
I certainly don’t! haha. My solution to this is to cook two different meals on Sundays and alternate them throughout the week for lunches. of course, I am a person that doesn’t mind eating the same thing everyday. It makes me happy to know there is food in my fridge and I don’t have to cook everyday so it’s worth it to me. :)
I am hungrier throughout the day so if I have a lot of prepared foods that I made at home then it keeps me from going out at lunch and hitting the vending machines/cafe at work. I enjoy snacky dinners so a few times a week I will cut up an assortment of fresh vegetables and make a meze platter of naan, hummus, and veggies to snack on or I will make homemade nachos with tortilla chips, daiya, refried beans or black beans, salsa, and huac. Or my husband will fry some bread and we’ll heat up a morningstar patty and make a sandwich with lettuce, avo, cucumber, and bbq sauce. I know that I ate pretty well all day so a fun meal is at the end of the day feels like a treat.